How do you say Di-sgusting? I think I know!
I was out at Cherry Grove yesterday on a day trip to get some local color (from the Sun, not the creepy L.I. fags who kept throwing shade on the LIRR) and I was walking around near the Ice Palace to try and find a place to go to the bathroom in peace. I didn’t have my shirt on because, whatever, it’s the beach. I don’t have like the most muscular body- okay well, scratch that, I don’t really have a muscular body at all. I’ve got lots of chest hair - like a lot - and I used to be pretty ashamed of it, back in 2000 when it was all about the HX magazine smooth sculpted look. But with the rise of bear culture, and the turning tides that have reproclaimed body hair as something hot, I began to own it, and found it was an asset to snagging guys.
So I’m walking on the road, and this fat lesbian and her scary fat goth lesbian friend looks at me as I go past and go “That’s disgusting.” It was kinda quiet how they said it, but not quiet enough for me not to hear it, obviously. Can you believe that? And so I just turned around and stared at this ugly woman, and her friend goes “Oh shit!” Which was the best thing I could have done because no words could have made her feel better. In fact, if I’d started to curse her off she would have won. But afterwards I was a bit bugged about it - feeling similar to Kimberley Locke on Celebrity Fit Club when she was talking about creepo Dustin Diamond’s hurtful dildo comments - I let this woman steal my joy! I know I don’t have the greatest body on earth. I don’t particularly enjoy hitting the gym, so I’m a bit on the un-toned side, but whatever - of all the yuckos walking around out on Cherry Grove, and if you’ve been there you know what I mean - I’m the one who gets picked on? Story of my life.
What do you think? Gross or a turn on?