Where to begin with this one? A Christmas clip that seems to try and rationalize the fact of evolution with the blind faith in an unseen God (and Santa…oh, and fairies too)!
“The only difference between monkeys and you, is…you know you’re not monkeys!”
Here’s a insane clip from the movie Santa Claus, repeated over and over again with different MST3K style dubbing.
You are poor!!
Every year I usually take John Waters’ suggestion and have a Christmas Horror Movie Marathon at my place. Unfortunately this year, because of all the stress of having to find an apartment before January 1st, I haven’t been able to plan it, and now I’m sure everyone is out of town and there’s no point. So I’ve decided to post a bunch of insane clips from films that I would show at this year’s Marathon. This year, I’d already decided to show more weird and scary children’s Christmas movies than Horror ones. Many of these Christmas movies are scarier than the films like Silent Night, Deadly Night!
Case in point, “The Magic Christmas Tree” :
The Christmas Tree sounds like it was voiced by the slightly butcher but no less bitchy half-brother of Paul Lynde. And the little doltish boy gets his Christmas magic, and then uses it to recreate half-assed Keystone Kops and 3 Stooges routines for himself in real life. I guess he’s a 1920’s silent-film enthusiast.
For more insane 1960’s Children’s Christmas movies, that look like they were conceived on a fair amount of Christmas LSD, check these trailers out:
I’ll be posting even more insane Christmas crap for you over the next few days, so keep checking back!
So yeah, I had to give notice at that ultra-boring temp job I was working. I tried to use the free time to write but it just didn’t really work that well. I did figure out exactly what I need to be writing and what the script I’m writing is, which is a definite achievement. Think “Jinx!” but more Jewish, more Gay, more 12 years old, more realistic, and more autobiographical. This is the first time that I feel like I’ve really taken a lot of time to figure out what direction I need to go in - writing from the heart rather than coming up with a clever story with a typical movie hook. It’s going to be a kind of episodic coming of age story, but one that twists all those tropes in a very me fashion.
Anyway, I know I’ve been a bit slow on posts, but I’m trying really hard to think of good unique things to write about, rather than just throwing up YouTubes out of laziness. I promise some really good worthwhile ways to waste time (aka blog posts) coming up very soon. Hooray for Unemployment!
PS. That amazing Fassbinder/Metallica Shirt I’m wearing in the picture above is from Cinefile Video in Los Angeles. I flipped out over these shirts when I was in LA, and had a friend go pick me up several styles:
They make the BEST Xmas present for your hardcore film nerd children. And coming soon, according to their website www.cinefilevideo.com : the Scorcese/Scorpions shirt. Cinefile Video is really awesome, and I’ll have more on them soon.
Later!
“A lot of sitcoms had minor continuity problems but GG seemed to revel in them. It’s like they put Estelle Getty in charge of keeping track of everything.” - Anonymous, Datalounge.com
So I’ve descended back in to the working world again, and I mean descended, cause its’ hellish indeed, despite the fact that I now work in a swanky Park Avenue high rise near the famous Lever House. Oh sure, on one hand, I seem to keep getting placed in jobs where I have like almost nothing to do and can sit and stare at the computer all day, on the other hand I have nothing to do and can sit and stare at the computer all day. My brain turns to mush and I have to push myself when real work is assigned to me. So far I’ve done about three-quarters of an actual normal person’s day’s work, all in the collective span of two weeks.My day usually goes like this – Raisin bagel toasted with butter, Spider Solitaire, Pitchfork, Page Six, New York Times (Dave Kehr’s DVD Reviews on Tuesday’s are a particular high point), Spider Solitaire, Film Forum, Bam, Moma, Walter Reade (any new movies coming out?), Spider Solitaire, Huffington Post, Gawker (by this point I’m desperate, cause I hate Gawker), FourFour, Disco Delivery, SpiderSolitaire…
REPEAT FOR THE REMAINING 8 HOURS
So I was thrilled when my friend Jeremy, who I luckily can IM with while pondering oblivion, told me about this amazing thread on the Datalounge Forums. Datalounge is this really fun gossipy site that’s basically all message boards with topics created and written by fags from the anonymity of their own homes. It’s so popular that you can never access it during what they call “Primetime Traffic” and they always try to get you to donate to it so you can get on it without waiting. They really ought to change the format and put up banners and make the whole thing free, but for some reason they don’t. This site is the best place for unfounded “I swear I know someone who knows someone who fucked him, and he swears he’s a homo” gay actor rumors. And there are lots of great posts about TV Shows and other mindless observations that usually crack me up.
Case in point, the most addictive message board thread ever:
THE GOLDEN GIRLS INCONSISTENCIES
This thread is about all the inconsistencies (not incontinences, jerks!) in the classic sitcom about four old broads played by Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan, Betty White, and Estelle Getty. The idea is to discuss all of the things that bugged people about the show – things that weren’t possible and which the lazy continuity errors the writers couldn’t seem to keep track of over the years.
For instance:
I could read this shit all day – in fact I have been, and have been thoroughly amazed at both the dead-on accuracy of all the errors pointed out – leading to an actual critical analysis and debate of many of the mistakes, as well as the utter hilariousness of the sheer idiocy of the whole discussion. I live for stuff like this. I have always wondered why most sitcoms keep the appearance of siblings and parents and relatives all very standard. When Colleen Dewhurst showed up in the first season of Murphy Brown, she showed up again every time they wrote her in – but Golden Girls seems to take the opposite approach. Sometimes two or more actresses showed up over the course of the series playing the same part – as if it was a David Lynch movie. And these were bit parts, I mean, couldn’t they have kept this straight? Apparently this irked many other fans on the boards. You will be amazed at the passion that goes into these posts. Some of these are also taken from tv.com’s Golden Girls inconsistencies page, which is a bit more tempered in its emotions, but also user generated.
After the jump are some of my favorites.
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