Where to begin with this one? A Christmas clip that seems to try and rationalize the fact of evolution with the blind faith in an unseen God (and Santa…oh, and fairies too)!
“The only difference between monkeys and you, is…you know you’re not monkeys!”
Here’s a insane clip from the movie Santa Claus, repeated over and over again with different MST3K style dubbing.
You are poor!!
Every year I usually take John Waters’ suggestion and have a Christmas Horror Movie Marathon at my place. Unfortunately this year, because of all the stress of having to find an apartment before January 1st, I haven’t been able to plan it, and now I’m sure everyone is out of town and there’s no point. So I’ve decided to post a bunch of insane clips from films that I would show at this year’s Marathon. This year, I’d already decided to show more weird and scary children’s Christmas movies than Horror ones. Many of these Christmas movies are scarier than the films like Silent Night, Deadly Night!
Case in point, “The Magic Christmas Tree” :
The Christmas Tree sounds like it was voiced by the slightly butcher but no less bitchy half-brother of Paul Lynde. And the little doltish boy gets his Christmas magic, and then uses it to recreate half-assed Keystone Kops and 3 Stooges routines for himself in real life. I guess he’s a 1920’s silent-film enthusiast.
For more insane 1960’s Children’s Christmas movies, that look like they were conceived on a fair amount of Christmas LSD, check these trailers out:
I’ll be posting even more insane Christmas crap for you over the next few days, so keep checking back!
For no other reason than I have like no ideas for what to post - I’m going to just do a lazy job with a funny clip and some lousy text. Here goes:
This is a pretty amazing clip - Grace Jones and Rick James present the 1983 R and B Grammy. Rick tries to get into Grace’s pants onstage. Grace is her usual insane self. Marvin Gaye accepts an award but doesn’t thank his father - you remember, the one who shot him not too long after. Coincidence? I’m just sayin… Then we get to see Jennifer Holliday, Patrice Rushen, Deniece Williams, and Donna Summer, and Rick James makes an off-color Stevie Wonder joke - with Stevie in the audience!
Give me a break, it’s the end of a four day weekend and I have to go back to work tomorrow. Christ.
Monday night I finally got around to watching a movie that’s been on my shelf for months and months: Prelude To Happiness. Released in 1974, this film is virtually unknown today. It’s an utterly fascinating piece of low-budget 70’s sexploitation disguised as an over-the-top soap opera.
The plot goes like this - Susan, played by Rose Petra, is an aspiring nurse, about to be wed to her fiancee Joe, is mangled in an auto accident, and loses her leg. Joe dumps her, telling her she doesn’t have a leg to stand on if she wants to stay with him (groan). But luckily, her doctor Steve (Gary Davis) has a crush on her, and arranges for her to get hired as a nurse in the hospital where he works. Susan begins to get her footing in life (double groan), you know, achieve some kind of balance (triple groan) - but there’s bound to be complications. Steve is already engaged to a shrill castrating harpie, played by Carol Sowa in a brilliant, blistering performance. Her only interest in marrying Steve is the status she’ll achieve as a doctor’s wife. So now Steve has to choose between the two women, and Susan has to decide whether she can really find it in her heart to accept that she could be happy in life.
In between decisions, Susan enjoys lounging around in a bikini, and the move takes a sort of perverse pleasure in showing an amputee walking around in a bikini or lingerie. Additionally, there are so many shots in this movie where the boom mike not only peaks at the top or bottom of the frame, but almost goes so far into the actors faces that you expect it to smack right into them. You can see this in the trailer above, in a few places, most notably when Susan is delivering the line “No man is going to want me when I’m only half a woman!” Throw in a crazy folk song sung by Susan at a party, and a even crazier dream sequence that rivals the one in Sam Fuller’s The Naked Kiss (where the amputee kid runs around screaming “I got legs! I got legs!) and you’re all set for cinematic gold.
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